


Playing Pretend

by ddagent



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Actors, Alternate Universe - Actors, Christmas, Christmas Movie, F/M, Philinda 24 Kisses, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 17:19:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5425352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddagent/pseuds/ddagent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whilst shooting a Christmas movie, actor Phil Coulson falls for his co-star. Part of the Philinda 24 Kisses Event.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Playing Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Agents of SHIELD or any of its characters, or settings - all belongs to Marvel and ABC.
> 
> I adore Christmas movies, and this was a lot of fun to write! A huge, huge thank you to righteousnerd for being the amazing writing partner that she is - I love you. Hope you enjoy everyone!

Phil was nine when he’d landed his first commercial. Money had been tight since his father’s passing and the casting agent who had discovered him said they could make _big_ bucks. It was a commercial for a family barbecue, with Phil playing the son. The first three takes, Phil had burst into tears every time the actor playing Dad had said the word _son._ The director, an imposing man with an eyepatch, took him aside. He didn’t shout, didn’t tell him to _get it together_. Nick Fury told him to pretend. So Phil pretended, for three hours, that his father was alive and they were having another Fourth of July cookout.

 

He’d liked it. And for the next fifteen years, Phil had continued to pretend.

 

 _Christmas Wars_ was Phil’s latest project. A Lifetime original movie, it was Phil’s first real gig other than the nerdy best friend or guest spots on television shows. It was the story of two men who go to war after the town issues new legislation over Christmas. Steve Rogers was playing Phil’s father. Having grown up on the _Captain America_ movies, Phil had been a nervous wreck for the first two weeks of shooting. He’d blown five takes each scene before he finally got himself together. But whilst the Steve situation had resolved itself, there was still one part Phil had trouble pretending with.

 

“Okay, let’s get Phil and Melinda on that motorbike _now_!”

 

Assistants poked and prodded him, steering him in the direction of the motorcycle. The scene was simple: Phil’s character, tired of the fighting, runs off with his father’s rival’s daughter. When she ditches him at a party, he runs into his beautiful if slightly alternative neighbour. The night shoot, filled with fake snow and a very real chill to the air, had Melinda driving him home on her motorcycle.

 

“You okay, Coulson?” Melinda asked as she threw one leg over the motorbike. “Don’t worry, you’re safe. I have one of these at home.”

 

Phil smiled nervously, swallowing down his fear. He slid onto the back, his arms snaking around Melinda’s waist. He didn’t want to cling to her; didn’t want her to feel the nervous sweat leaking from his palms. But Melinda adjusted his grip, pressing his arms flat against her stomach. “I think I’ll be okay.”

 

“Good.” Melinda threw a grin over her shoulder. Tiny flecks of fake snow were clinging to her dark hair. Her lips were red; her cheeks pink from the cold night air. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms, keep her warm. He wanted to feel her lips against his. He wanted-

 

“And…ACTION!”

 

The engine roared to life; and Phil’s arms automatically tightened around Melinda’s waist. It was a slow crawl down the street; everyone on hand in case something went wrong. But teen action star Melinda May was behind the wheel. Phil knew he was in good hands. Still he snuggled against her, his chin resting atop her shoulder. She glanced once behind her, eyes shiny and smile bright. Phil’s stomach jolted before he had to remind himself that she was _acting._ This was all just an act.

 

Just as quickly as it had started, Melinda pulled up to the exterior of his house. Phil knew the script, knew he had to slide off the motorcycle with shaky legs. Melinda stayed put. “ _Here we go, Barnes. Home sweet home_.”

 

_“Thank you for the lift, Jessica. I-I really appreciate it.”_

 

Melinda beamed. By this point in the movie, Phil’s character was finally getting ready to make a move on his beautiful, if slightly troublesome, neighbour. Phil only wished he had the same courage. Ever since they’d read together in auditions, Phil had been smitten. With each passing scene, every long day of talking in between takes, Phil was falling more and more in love. He just didn’t know what to do about it.

_“You should probably head inside. Your folks must be nervous wrecks by now.”_

 

Phil bobbed his head. “ _Yeah, yeah I should.”_ He turned, just a fraction towards home, before swivelling back to her. _“Listen, Jessica, my parents are throwing a huge Christmas party tomorrow night. Do you want to go?”_

 

Melinda chuckled. He loved her laugh. _“My parents are already coming…but sure, I’ll go.”_

 

 _“I meant…”_ He ran a hand through his hair, brushing away the fake snow clinging to his scalp. _“I meant as my date.”_

 

A beat. A moment to let it sink in. Phil felt just as nervous as Ben was at the prospect of asking his dream girl on a date. He felt just as relieved when Melinda burst into a grin; the tough girl exterior fading away into a dazzling smile brighter than any Christmas lights. _“I’d love to.”_

Phil fumbled the goodbye kiss on her cheek, catching the corner of her mouth as he pulled away. He took one step back, hitting his mark, before watching Melinda roll her motorcycle down the street. Despite the cold night air, warmth and love flooded through his chest. It was only when the director cried _Cut_ that the ice cold wind rushed through him and Phil was left with only one thought: _it’s just pretend._

\--

 

The final scene of the movie was an all-night shoot at the Barnes’ Christmas Eve party. The two warring fathers would make amends, Christmas would be saved, and Phil would get the girl. To do that, however, he’d have to kiss her. Phil wiped his hands on the garish Christmas sweater he wore; the nerves making his palms and underarms sweat. Suddenly he was glad for the lurid green and red patterned jumper covering the pit stains. _God he was so nervous_!

 

“Are you all right, Phil? That’s your third glass of water in fifteen minutes.”

 

Phil drained another plastic cup, sheepishly looking down at the floor. Peggy Carter played his on-screen mother, and she’d done so off-screen as well. She’d given him some important acting tips; even read over a couple of scripts with him. If there was anyone he could talk to about this, it was her. “I’m just nervous.”

 

“About your kiss with Ms May?”

 

Peggy didn’t miss a thing. It was what made her such a great actor. “Yes.”

 

The scene was still being lit, so Peggy pulled him off to one side. They sat on the Barnes’ sofa, surrounded by a professionally decorated Christmas tree and photoshopped images of the three of them in happy family poses. In one he was fishing with Steve. In another, the three of them were at the Grand Canyon. It had taken Phil a long time to be okay with this; especially with the real photograph of his fifth birthday nestled amongst the frames. He just wished he had the same control over his feelings with Melinda.

 

“Okay, tell me what’s wrong.” Peggy patted his knee. “Have you never had an on-screen kiss before?”

 

“Oh, no, I have!” His first on-screen kiss, in fact his _first_ kiss, had been as a one episode love interest to the daughter of the President on some political drama. He’d been nervous with Rosalind too; in fact even bit her lip on the first take. But this kiss was something else. “I _like_ Melinda.”

 

“Ah.”

 

Phil sighed, resting his head in his hands. “Usually I’m great at pretending. But when I kiss her, I know it’s not going to be Ben. It’s going to be _me._ But Melinda will still be Jessica. I don’t know what to do.”  

 

Peggy’s mouth thinned as she tried to come up with an answer. After a moment she patted his knee, offering him a sympathetic smile. “There’s no easy answer for when you fall in love with a co-star. It can be difficult. At least you don’t have to watch her kiss someone else.”

 

“That’s true.”

 

“The most important thing right now is for you to be professional. Kiss her. Just…hold back a little. Try to think of other things so you don’t lose yourself in the moment. You’ll be fine, Phil. Just remember not to be yourself.”

 

 _Don’t be yourself._ He could do that. He could be Eric, his first TV show character. One episode, four lines, hit on the girlfriend of the lead actor. He could be Richard, an extra with two lines at a family planning clinic after he knocked up his girlfriend. Maybe even Scott, the respectable Ivy League prospect in love with the President’s daughter. He could be a lot of characters; a lot of people. But all of them looked at Melinda and fell just as hopelessly in love with her.

 

As the director and the rest of the actors marched on set, the scene was ready to begin. There were four stages: the fathers making amends, Phil’s kiss with Melinda, the new legislation over Christmas decorations being revoked, and everyone standing outside to stare at the Christmas lights. Phil sat awkwardly, sipping watered down apple juice pretending to be egg nog, whilst Steve and Tony filmed their scenes in one corner of the room. They were professionals, so it didn’t require too many takes.

 

Suddenly they were setting up for the kiss.

 

Phil had to stare straight ahead, hands trying hard not to shake as he waited for Melinda to make her appearance. He knew she was coming, yet had to wait for her to clear her throat before he looked up. _And there she was._ A vision in a little black dress; with a piece of Holly pinning back her hair. Phil’s hand crunched the plastic cup, apple juice spilling over his hand and jumper.

 

“Dammit.”

 

He expected the scene to stop. He didn’t expect to find Melinda’s nimble fingers plucking the cup from his hands. “I take it that means you like my dress.”

 

“I do.” Phil beamed; the ad-lib working in their favour. Melinda was one hell of an actress. No wonder she had three Teen Choice Awards. “ _I honestly didn’t think you’d come.”_

_“Well, my parents were coming…”_ Melinda looked over one shoulder to the two extras playing her parents. If he hadn’t been paying such close attention. Phil would have missed the glassy look in her eyes as she stared at the two strangers. Suddenly the look was gone and she was back. “ _Plus, I was asked out by this really cute guy, so I had to make an appearance.”_

They both laughed. “ _Well, I’m glad you came. Would you-do you want to dance?”_

Phil took one step forward, hitting his mark exactly. There would be no dancing for them. Phil had stepped forward so they were directly under the deliberately placed mistletoe. Melinda looked up first, lips widening in a wicked grin. Phil followed her gaze, his palms beginning to sweat as if on cue.

 

“ _Maybe we could do something else first._ ”

 

The scene called for Phil to smile, for him to cradle Melinda’s face and pull her into a sweet and chaste kiss. But Phil was too slow to react. Suddenly Melinda had two handfuls of his Christmas jumper and was pulling him in. Her lips pressed against his, warm and wet and tasting slightly of peppermint. _Melinda was kissing him, Melinda was kissing him._ Any chance to compose himself went out the window. His eyes closed, his hands softly held her hips and pulled her close. What had started as a passionate kiss faded into a languid exploration of the other. Melinda’s lips were soft, teasing, pulling him in and making him want this scene to last forever.

 

The moment he felt the flicker of Melinda’s tongue against his mouth was the moment the director called _Cut._ Phil pulled away, but not too far. Melinda was still clutching his jumper. Staring into those dark eyes, pupils wide, Phil started to wonder if he was the only one not pretending.

 

\--

 

After the scene where the new legislation was rescinded, the actors, crew and extras gathered outside the Barnes’ exterior home for the final shot of the movie. After fighting the local government and each other for the last ninety minutes, Steve and Tony would turn on the Christmas lights together. Phil had no lines in this final scene; all he had to do was stand outside next to his mother with an arm wrapped around Melinda. The only hardship was the slight chill to the air.

 

“Okay and… we’re rolling!”

 

In front of them, Steve and Tony said their lines and pressed the button that lit up the front of the house. As a group they all watched; smiling and cheering as the house exploded in lights. Peggy slid an arm around his shoulders, kissing the crown of his head before she joined Steve. That left him and Melinda alone. _He was a professional._ He did what the script told him and wrapped an arm around Melinda’s shoulder. Her hand touched the pattern of his Christmas sweater, her thumb brushing the knitted Rudolph. He felt her head rest against his shoulder. This was all he had ever wanted. Yet he knew – or at least he thought he knew - that it wasn’t real.  

 

“Do you want to get a drink after this?”

 

Phil blinked twice, surprised by Melinda’s blunt and out of character question. “Excuse me?”

 

“A drink. You are over twenty-one, right?”

 

Phil nodded. Despite playing a high schooler, he was actually twenty-four. He wasn’t sure what bars would be open this time of night, but he was up for anything as long as it involved Melinda. “I could go for a drink.”

 

“Good.” Melinda wrapped her arm tighter around his waist. “I’m sorry about that kiss, by the way. Thank god the director called Cut before I stuck my tongue down your throat.”

 

“Yeah. _Thank god._ ” Melinda smirked at his tone. He had a feeling that she wasn’t very sorry at all. That feeling was confirmed when her other hand reached past the length of his jacket to rest on his ass. That was certainly something Jessica would do. But Melinda…“Okay, just to make things clear…”

 

“I _like_ you, Phil. _Really_ like you. And I think you like me too. But I don’t get involved with my co-stars. There has to be boundaries, you know?” Phil bobbed his head. “But we have one more hour of shooting and then you’re just a fellow actor.  So…drink?”

 

Suddenly all the nerves Phil felt disappeared. _Melinda liked him. She actually liked him._ How he felt was genuine, real, and was shared by the woman standing beside him. Phil was suddenly overwhelmed by the need to kiss her. He caressed her cheek, brushing away the fake snow falling on both of them. Their lips met. Soft, sweet. A gentle expression of his burgeoning feelings for Melinda.

 

Eventually they had to pull away. This was a PG movie for Lifetime, not soft core porn. As they retook their positions, Phil looked back up at the Barnes house. The Christmas lights were bright, the slight chill to the air real. The hum of the machine pumping fake snow over them was nothing more than background noise. It was Christmas in July and it was all pretend. Everything but his feelings for Melinda. Everything but her feelings for him.

 

Ever since he was nine years old, Phil had been playing pretend. He was so happy to find something that was finally real.


End file.
